Having ASMR

When I was in kindergarten they still had chalk boards, never thought that would go out of style. But something weird would happen every time my teacher would write on it. I'd get this tingling feeling around my ears and a warm blanketing feeling on my head whenever she wrote on the board. I went into a trancelike state where I'd just stare at the board and just was in awe of the sensation or what I thought was the beauty of that sound, mechanical but with different lengths and speeds of sound and attack. This continued to happen in school but soon was triggered in other places like church, my dad's car or hearing something in the distance. These sensations would get stronger and more potent as I got older and went from just my ears and head to my whole body. I thought it was just me, but apparently other people experience different levels of this phenomenon (I'm probably one of the extreme cases). It wasn't until two weeks ago that I found out what it was called, Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response (ASMR).

I noticed that it happened or could be triggered with certain types of music, legato type with very chordal dissonances (like going to a dominant seven before you get to the tonic with a really low "one" on the bottom, for all the music theory nerds). I'd often seek out music that had this and listen to it as often as possible. It eventually expanded to other types of music but once that happened, sounds in generally started to trigger it as well like wind, water, walking on wooden floors, typing, almost everything if I focus on it. Up until I went to college, except for one case which we'll get to soon, the only things that made it flare were auditory, but after a year studying with my instructor Marc, I found two new ways of triggering it.

When I was in the Percussion Scholarship Group, the main focus was on wrist use and I was pretty obsessed with that, so much so that I'd often only do snare drum in my lesson because it was the crux of that teaching for us. So, when I'd really get into what I was playing, I would feel a very warm sensation in my hands that made me feel the sticks and drum even better and I could articulate mostly anything I wanted, with the technique I had. Fast forward to Marc, he helped me to think beyond just using the wrist alone and showed me how to access the entire body in performance. Not only could I now sense that connection and sensation in my hands but my entire body; it would also be stronger in certain places that I put my attention on, like my lower back or forearms. I now had a tactile trigger, but that wasn't the end of it. The way Marc explained himself, and his encouragements to seek other disciplines that would help me use my body efficiently, I could eventually see when I or someone else was not using an efficient motion or holding tension in certain places. Whenever I saw a shift in the body that went from inefficient to efficient I would get a sharp sensation in that spot specifically. Weird. So I had an audio, tactile and visual trigger. I'm sure chefs have a taste and smell version, which would be cool!

Now, here's the thing. We all have a trigger for one specific flare up of ASMR. This is my opinion and it may be different for others with this ability, but emotional content does trigger very similar responses as my full body experiences, most commonly anxiety, embarrassment or bashfulness. Picture that feeling you get where you kind of freeze up and you feel a warm rush to your cheeks, chest or shoulders, but without the "feeling" of anxiety or bashfulness. That's probably pretty close to what people with ASMR feel on a daily basis, like a rush of energy or warmth without an emotional reason behind it. But, because there is an emotion attached to it, for me, it inherently influences the other triggers. Right now, for instance, I'm dealing with a break up and it obviously makes me sad, but the feeling of giving love and playing music is the same for me, so when I go to practice, it hurts because that part of my life, love, is in pain. Obviously, you can fake it till you make it, but you can see how that connection can leave you very vulnerable in certain situations. At the very least, you know you're still a "feeling" human.

This is probably one of the weirdest blog posts, but I thought it was worth talking about. Personally, I've been able to use these triggers to enhance my playing. The downside now, especially with my studies in philosophy, is that I've become and am becoming more emotionally available so that everything I do is connected to them. I can fake it when I'm having a bad day, but obviously I won't be as engaged like when I "have myself together". The good news is that being this available allows more growth of character and in essence strengthens the music inevitably. Basically, no matter the feeling, I let it happen and embrace it when I can, in the most appropriate and mindful way possible. In the music, if the emotion comes out, I try to navigate it and direct it so that the character and details of the piece remain in tact, but also that myself is in the music. This also triggers certain ASMR's that react with the emotion and the motions or sounds of the piece, making a more complete performance for me.

It is extremely exhausting though. When I took the Cleveland audition, I was basically in a full ASMR mode, physical, audio, visual and emotional states for a half hour straight, and I came out completely spent. I even fell asleep on the couch waiting for the results. Still, this is my personal experience with ASMR and there are a lot of different cases, mild and extreme like me, probably more too. I dare say everyone has some sort of experience with it. If you've ever felt that tingly rush when you get under a warm blanket, or that feeling when smelling your grandma's cooking, then you might have it too. Welcome to the club! If not, well, I probably seem even weirder now, but that's totally fine. I at least hope you found it interesting. ASMR, it's strange, makes me super crazy, hyper, happy, and also helps me make my music.

Finding Ease

As soon as I finished the ASMR blog, people asked how I learned to "control" the triggers and how I could use my own movement, specifically efficient movement, to do it as well. The idea of efficient movement was also inquired about, and my friend Sasha asked if I'd write this blog. I'm going to try to keep this as concise as possible, keyword try. I won't go into too much background behind things unless it's really necessary and will include as many ideas and exercises that I can. Here goes nothing!

With ASMR, I had to figure out which trigger was the strongest and created the quickest response. With that knowledge, I started to try to find other triggers, compare their potency with my strongest one, and would try to use that trigger as often as possible until the potency grew. Now, I'm not 100% sure that that exercise actually made triggers better, they may have always been that way, but the brain is extremely powerful and I do believe that it is possible for people to accomplish that. So let's say that the sound of water bubbling on the shore gives you that sensation. What I would do first is go for the sound as the trigger, as it's probably what you are paying attention to. Next, find the sounds around the water, like the wind in combination with water, or the distant water movement that's far from the shore.

Next, I'd pay attention to the movement of the water as it goes to and from the shore. If you notice, your body probably anticipates the sound as it gets to the shore, so you feel almost a growing tension and release as the sound comes and goes. First, I'd watch the water and attribute not only the sounds to it but also the feeling, so if I see something that reminds me of the movement of water, it will trigger it. Eventually you can attribute the general idea of flowing movements, not just like water, to the sensation.  A cool thing to do also is match your breathing to the water movement. Since the body is doing an ASMR tension and release with the sounds and sights, if you breathe along with that you almost feel like you yourself are causing the sensation, or at least are one with the appearance and disappearance of it. If this sounds like a meditation, it definitely is one! For me, breathing, when I focused on it like that, could trigger ASMR as well. I honestly feel that if you truly focus on anything, and sort of become one with it, in the sense of the breathing with the movement of water as if you're a part of it, it can trigger it. It's just about finding a trigger to compare it to in order to gauge how strong it is and has become. Now, if I meditate on pretty much anything, it triggers it. No wonder I'm so happy all the time! 

Within the ASMR "exercises" are the basics of my efficiency "training." I only say them like "that" because our habitual definitions to both are more tension oriented, like we're trying to do something in order to get the results instead of allowing them to happen naturally. Of course we have to train the body to do what we want, but we also have to let it figure it out by itself. When we were learning to walk, we didn't go through a process of doing exercises specifically made for walking. Yes, our parents might've put us in a walker, but our decisions to move were our own, not a dictated one but a guided one and we learned to walk on our own terms. I take the same approach with everything that I do in my practice.

Specifically to movement itself, though, after taking one Feldenkrais class, I decided to just explore the idea of finding and eliminating unnecessary tension in my activities. What Feldenkrais basically taught was to take a movement, let's say picking up a cup of water, and examining it to the point that you can only use what is absolutely necessary to accomplish the task (fingers, hand, wrist, forearm, upper arm) and getting rid of anything else. The key is to do it super slow so you notice if anything else starts to get "activated" or tense. Usually what happens when we go to take a drink is, our shoulders try to get stable or rise up. So you would say, I don't need those things, relax them and continue slowly, finding and eliminating anything else that comes up. Try reaching for the glass first and eliminating anything that you don't need to reach. Once you have it in your hand, don't over grab on the glass, accept as much of the weight as possible to the point that it might slide out of your hand (maybe use a non breakable dish just in case, but something with weight). As you go to take the drink, really pay attention to your upper body as it probably will try to "get stable." Try to get as loose as jello and just take the drink.

Again, this process can be very meditative as you are focusing on slow deliberate movements, almost like you're doing tai chi. For drummers, we would pay attention to our grasp of the sticks and our movements towards and away from the instrument. A cool thing I found on YouTube was a saxophonist doing a similar exercise of slow movement with his breath. He would basically play only so much to barely hear the note to practice his breath control, but I also think that this naturally slows the speed and intensity of air so that you emulate some sort of resistance, even though there is none, and keep the direction that you want. That's basically what slow movements do, emulate resistance while still going for the action. So when I walk to work today for example, I'll pay attention to my body and see if my arms or shoulders are tense and relax them, and when I get to work I'll warm up slowly getting rid of any tension in my basic strokes. As you practice thinking this way, you'll create a habit of pinpointing areas that are being used that you don't need, like if you brush your teeth and your left foot is tense, you'll naturally go into a standing position that relieves that tension.

The other thing I noticed was that, even if I could get the noticeable tensions out, sometimes there would be an inward hesitation or forcing of a movement. My arms would be relaxed but it would feel like something inside was still tense. I personally thought it was just more tension, but this idea from Bruce Lee got me thinking otherwise: "From your thought to your, how much time was lost?" So I decided that it was completely a mental tenseness, as if my brain was preparing my body for the movement too much in advance. So practiced quickening my reflexes from completely relaxed to doing the task, standing completely still and not moving until I absolutely had to move, kind of like waiting for the start of a race and reacting to the signal.

This again was a meditation for me because now I could sense the intention of movement in my body. If I thought about lifting a stick up, my wrist would get warm because of the mental emphasis on it. I could visualize myself moving and still feel the body parts that I was thinking about. The side effect of this was that I could even feel weights of stick or instrument either by visualizing them or looking at them. So, I can look at a pair of sticks and based on my previous knowledge, get a general sense of how they will feel weight wise, throw wise and how my body will have to interact with them to get what I want, without physically touching them. Eventually this ability would apply to all of my instruments, and now I can feel every instrument without touching it. That was really cool when that happened.

Along with the visualization, if there was a certain sound that I wanted to create, my body could naturally figure out what to do in order to make that sound. Let's say I wanted a dark sound with a strong attack. Generally the more weight I add, the warmer or darker the sound, and articulation can be achieved by shortening or lengthening the interaction between the head and the stick. I would add a bunch of weight to darken it, and get off the drum as quickly as possible to sharpen the attack. So, now when I audiate in my mind, my body reacts to what I "hear" and activates the parts necessary to do those tasks. When you combine the audio reaction with the reflex idea, you get a very powerful tool. 

If you apply this to rhythmic or time exercises, you can train your body to react in time with the metronome without even picking up your instrument. This is what people generally call "working on your inner clock or time." You take a metronome marking, sit there and listen to it, and let your body react to each pulse. If you're a wind instrumentalist, you probably will sense the intake and outtake of breath as well as the use of it in "playing" in time with the metronome. More importantly, you feel your body pulse along with the metronome. For me, I feel the beats more in my head and stomach, but it may be different for others. Because I practiced this with a lot of different tempos, I can now guess BPM's pretty close to what they are. Once, someone had a metronome on 35 and I guessed 34. Not that you need that, but it's really fun to test yourself with.

Lastly, with tuning. I'm obviously not an instrumentalist that has to tune all the time in quick succession, but when I do have to tune it's equally as important. The way I think about tuning is the same. I hear what the centered note is and find a physical reaction to the centered note. Usually what happens is, my ears feel very wide and open, as if you were ease dropping on a person across the room, and I feel like I'm listening to the air. When I do this, it triggers my ASMR and when the note is centered, I'm at the most balanced and strongest sensation. When I'm flat, the sensation get's more potent but less intense, and when I'm sharp it get's less potent but more intense. This is just my personal way of tuning, but it has worked and I haven't had to rely on a tuner as much anymore in practice because of it.

This was a very general overview of what I think about and do to practice these things and there are tons of details and options that are available. Generally, I try to do as little work as possible in everything that I do, become super reactive to what I see, feel and hear, and try to connect my inner self to whatever I am doing, seeing or listening to. Please feel free to email me if you have any other questions, or if there was a specific idea from this you'd want to see a blog on. I hope this was helpful and again, thanks for reading. Happy searching!

Rest

I firmly believe that, with any action we do, when it's as close to the feeling of rest as possible is when the best outcome happens. This is not easy and I find, especially in percussion, that many don't get as close to this point as is actually possible. This is caused by a growing "cultural" need to control the stick to get what you need. While accuracy and consistency are possible with this mindset, the things that suffer are sound variability and physical malleability. If we over control the stick, it cannot rebound freely, hindering its motion and the instrument's response to it. Usually, the trend that tries to counter this is using bigger muscles while having loose hands and this does work. However, this accomplishes one sound and unless something changes, the sound will have the same character, just different volumes.

My instructors were.....crazy. Not only could they navigate the natural rebound of the stick without hindering it, but could control the types of rebounds to get different characters, lifting for bright sounds with the wrist while using arm weight for dynamics and so many other combinations. While some may not even notice these differences, you can definitely tell the difference between one who does do this and one who doesn't. Again, this is not an easy thing to accomplish because you have to be as close to an almost meditative state as possible, or else it doesn't work. Any ounce of tension will be heard, felt and distort the flow of energy in the playing. So controlling your ability to get and stay in this "zone" is crucial to making it habitual.

This, ultimately, is my goal with anything I do and it hasn't failed me yet, but I can't stress enough that it's not easy to do or to accept. Everything is easy; that's the philosophy behind it for me. If everything feels like I'm just walking down the street, that's the feel. Why do yoga? All the crazy poses and they just tell you to do them like it's the most peaceful, no stress, easiest thing ever. The ones who accomplish that are the masters of not only their body but their mind. The perception of the "hard" position is that it's both possible and easy to do. Why not the same for our playing? Why kill yourself playing soft? Just let the soft happen. Let that moment dictate your motions. This is freedom of motion at its best. This is freedom of expression at its greatest! Just rest in it.

Abandon Stability

I've been obsessed with the bounce and rebound of the drum stick for a long time, going as far as purchasing different sticks with different weight distributions and sizes along with different drum pads with different rebound responses. Why though? The fact is that, as drummers, we have to know the rebound well enough that we can accomplish techniques and effects with as little trouble as possible. For me, I thought practicing with different tools and learning how to make them work helped me accomplish that, forcing me to learn to let go in different ways and not just one specific one.

The key to learning how the rebound works is the simple, yet often misunderstood, fact of letting the stick go. But I thought we have to hold the stick? It's a paradox. Think about how you walk. You don't think about picking up your first leg, moving it forward and placing your foot on the ground, shifting your weight forward and repeating the process, You simply think about moving toward your destination. You already know how to walk so you don't have to "do" anything. That's exactly what I think the goal should be. Know the fundamentals so well that we don't have to "do" anything but go for our intended destination. So yea, we have to hold the stick, but with the right mindset and practice, perhaps our grip won't be based on holding it, but allowing it to be a part of our hand, an extension of our own bodies. The more the techniques are "second nature" and the tools we use are simply an extension of our bodies and mind, the easier it will be to accomplish the effects and goals you want to achieve.

3 Ways to Improve Technique

When you’re taking drum lessons and practicing on your own, you can make better use of your time by focusing on the things that will help you improve as a drummer.

Proper form and drum technique are essential to improve your sound quality. While this naturally requires patience and practice, it’s not as hard as you think. Here is my three-step process to help you improve your drum technique.

1. Be Efficient: The first step is to make your movements as efficient as possible. Like most things, this is easier said than done. What is efficiency and what makes something more efficient? Efficiency means maximum productivity with minimum wasted effort. So, for our purposes, let’s say that technique is any action achieved with little to no wasted effort. From a single hit to a blast beat, the key to improving your technique is to make every movement more efficient.

To start this process, you have to understand how your body moves. When you go up to the cymbal, are you over stretching or just getting there? Is your right hand doing anything weird when your left hand plays the snare drum, or vice versa? This list can go on and on, but the question is, where is there tension? Try to slow down your movements to find when and where you feel tension, and then try to relax and eliminate the tension.

When I would play a drum set as a beginner, my left foot would tense up as I would play the low tom. When I released that tension from my foot, it made it easier to get to the low tom. When something feels difficult, take some time to figure out why it’s hard, physically. Once you can identify the source of tension, you can find the solution to make it feel easier. Removing tension will improve your technique, and make you more efficient.

2. Listen and Imagine: The second step to is to listen. How well are you keeping time? Are your movements in the groove of the tempo? Can you play the exercises or techniques at any dynamic?

Can you hear those dynamics, rhythms, or tempos before you play them? These questions can be difficult because they all concern the intangible nature of sound. We feel time with our internal clock, and it takes time to develop this skill.

The best way to practice this, is to do drum technique exercises that allow you to hear or imagine the time in your mind. Have you ever played back a scene from a movie in your head, and you could hear the dialogue in your mind? Use the same process with drums; imagine the tempo, with a metronome and then without, and focus on really feeling it, like your own personal downbeat.

3. Develop Your Quality of Sound: After tempo, the next step is to focus on the quality of sound. Being able to do your drum technique exercises at any dynamic will make you more adaptable to different situations. Remember to practice playing softly! You can always add volume later, but if you don’t practice soft, then you will never play softly.

Does your technique sound harsh or nice, soft or hard, thin or thick? Compare your sound with different adjectives or objects, and then imagine what these things sound like. This will help you develop more character in your playing. What does a truck sound like? Imagine the sound in your head, and then play that sound. What does a feather sound like? Imagine it; feel it; play it.

When I got really serious about drums, I wanted to know how every instrument felt at any dynamic, tempo, rhythm, or note length. This forced me to imagine what it felt like to play things efficiently in different categories. At the time, I didn’t understand how my body moved. So, I started to examine how I played hand-to-hand eighth notes. I lifted each stick painfully slow. It took me at least two minutes to get from full height down to the drum, and then three minutes back up to full height, with one hand. During this time, I would ask myself, where is there tension? I focused on relieving the tension in order to make my strokes better.

Again, the key to better technique is to move more efficiently in everything you do, and hear what you do in as many styles and characteristics as possible. Patience is key. Don’t shy away from practicing slowly and softly. Push your limits. Make what you hear, feel, and do automatic, and your actions will be more efficient every time. Remove tension and make playing easier; your technique will improve and you will have more fun.