Loving Slow

Instant gratification is probably one of the biggest trends of this generation. With the advancement in technology, most of us are used to getting what we want as soon as possible. While this is very helpful in many cases, especially in emergencies of all sorts, relying on it for everything can be detrimental not only in our daily lives, but in the long run as well. How many times do we rely on fast food instead of taking the time to make it ourselves? I know I gained weight relying on McDonalds, but as soon as I stopped going there, I lost 5 pounds and 2 inches off of my waste (haven't eaten it in 4 years almost). So taking the time, being patient is not only important to our health, but our development as musicians and people. 

Progress cannot be timed. It may take you one try or several, but you will learn how to do what you are practicing. I wasn't good at playing mallet instruments, and I got really frustrated at myself. I was great at snare drum, why wasn't I learning this faster? Who knows when you'll get over passed that wall, but when you do, you will both appreciate it more and have an experience that can help you figure out another problem. How did you go about solving it? What ideas worked or didn't work? What did your teacher tell you that helped or didn't? Failures, successes, mistakes, lucky breaks, they all are cumulative towards your development, and you cannot discount any experience that you have while getting better. The same goes for your daily life. We are exactly where we need to be right now, and we will continue to want to get better for the future, which influences what we do right now. It's not, "I'm not fast enough now, why aren't I fast?" It's, "I'm fast at this tempo, and that's good. Where do I want to be? What can I do to get there right now?"

Just as progress can't be timed out, our process to progress cannot be rushed. Just like going for fast food can be unhealthy for you, rushing through learning music and technique can be unhealthy for your playing. This is one of the big reasons that the majority of teachers tell students to practice slow. Slowing things down allows you to really take in all the information at one time. I'll use myself as an example. Let's say I see Shostakovich symphony #10 movement 3. I see that the music is generally loud, but with a type of waltzy feel, and phrasing that lends to a crescendo at the end of each phrase. For each note I have to consider, dynamic, length of sound, color, motion of the stroke, fullness and type of stroke used, articulation, placement in time and dynamics of the phrase, consistency and efficiency of motion between the hands, quality and consistency of sound, connection between the notes (making sure I don't stop just because I finished playing one note), etc. The goal tempo is dotted half note at 72, but I can't think about all of that for each note at that speed. So, I start at 72 to the quarter note. I play with a slow version of the stroke that I want, and generally I play as full as comfortably possible. To do this properly takes patience, and it rewards you in the long run. 

By taking the time now to observe things slowly, I can make changes faster than when I just played things through until I learned the notes and rhythms. My technique is better too because I slow the music down and focus on its involvement. My ear is better because I focus on the colors, timbres and articulations at a slow tempo. It's like a painting. When we are young, we only know how to use certain colors, so to draw a sunny day, we color the sky blue, sun yellow and grass green, maybe a couple trees. If we study painting, we soon learn how to create different shades and lighting within the painting to further express the picture in our mind, but to do this, we have to see how each component relates to each other. How does the suns light hit the tree? There are videos online of speedy ways to draw this, but when you compare those pictures to one that was drawn piece by piece, the fast version almost seems artificial. 

It's not the fastest way, and maybe it's something we aren't good at doing. I myself sometimes don't go as slow as I would if I was pressed for time, but I still go at a pace where I can focus on all of those things as much as possible. Maybe this doesn't work for you, but give it a fair shot and try it with an open mind. Also, realize that this mindful way of practicing is really useful in your everyday life. How many times have you left something at home because you rushed out the house? How many times did you forget someone's name because introductions were either blown off or hurried? Really becoming aware of what we do in both the practice room and life will help us better understand our strengths, and weaknesses, so that we can make plans on becoming better and progressing towards the future. Each of us at our own pace. 

When Skill Didn't Matter

My parents used to tell me that I had to be 5 times better than the average person in order to do well in life. I didn't really understand what that meant at the time, but as I grew older i became more aware and determined to do what they advised. The news hasn't been very positive lately. It seems like every time we gain ground in liberal advancements in laws, like marriage equality and bathroom accommodations for the transgender community, more people lash out to against a different minority. Just so happens that this week, African Americans were the target this week, and for obvious reasons, this really got to me. I've been very fortunate to have lived this long with no negative interaction with a police officer, but I have experienced racism in other forms, just as other minorities have experienced prejudices from people and society. Even when I was young, some people would attribute any success I would have in music, to my blackness, not my work ethic. We can all see prejudice when it blatantly occurs, and but not so much when it is systematic. This is why we fight for equal pay between genders, marriage equality, immigration reform and other progressive laws. When we do, we can all see when society or lawmakers deter them from happening. All we can do, at least in this moment, is to acknowledge that prejudices are still in play, keep open minds in discussions, and call it out when it happens. Spread the awareness, and hopefully we can grow more empathetic towards our neighbors in the world.

Behind the Mask

In most cultures there is a set of social standards, a sort of "status quo," that is established for that community. One example is the idea of what defines a male and a female, aside from their biological make up. When I was learning about what made me a "man," it had nothing to do with biology, but with characteristics given and shown to me through media, peers, authority figures, etc. Presently, this way of characterizing anything has become obsolete, because of the huge spectrum that has both been developed and realized, or expressed, within different communities. Take the expression of emotions. The "norm" is that men don't cry, but it's more "acceptable" today, even encouraged, for men to cry. Sadly though, the original labels that would define who we are as people, what we do or believe, etc, are still being perpetuated today, and seeing people diverge from these is still awkward to the majority, even threatening at some level. Nevertheless, if what defines me as person is different than the norm, in order to live a fulfilled and honest life, I must be and express myself as that, regardless. 

I believe that, as artists, we are tasked with showing people what it means to be human, and in order to do this, we first must find out what it means to be ourselves, and then fully realize and express that. One person may be naturally authoritative, another may have a knack for giving to others. Whatever the incarnation, each individual has an expression that someone else can't do exactly the same, because of how their lives differ, what their personalities are like, etc. And yet, every person can, on some level, relate to everyone else. We all feel pain, so when we use our artistry to demonstrate pain, it must come from, "How do I feel when I am in pain?" When the audience sees us do that, they hopefully will feel more comfortable with expressing it themselves; We show them that it is ok to feel these emotions. The barrier we have to break through in order to do this is that "status quo." What do I have to do, what do I have to be, in order to express to a man that, it's ok to cry, it's ok to feel vulnerable, it's ok to feel weak, and have them not judge themselves negatively for having those feelings? Of course we can't make people feel, but we have to do our best to express the art in hopes that it encourages people to follow suit. 

Again, this realization that, "it's ok to feel, it's ok to be 'me'" has to start with us as human beings, not as artists. Unless we allow ourselves the freedom to just be who we are, despite the social norms or what we are labeled as, we will never reach our full potential as human beings, as ourselves, and then as artists. Stereotypes are everywhere, and we all are affected by them whether we know it or not. Being more conscious of how we think or act, and whether they are of our own volition or not, will help with weeding out these "trained or manufactured" thoughts. This way, WE will define ourselves, not someone or something else. Only then can we actually create honest and pure art. If I took what certain people say about African Americans as a definition of myself, I probably would be very apprehensive in playing music, but because I do not subscribe to that, I am still creating music the way I want to. Or, if Serena Williams accepted that people thought women were weak or frail, she may not have trained as hard as she did, and then not have won so many tennis championships. Accepting anything that doesn't constructively add to your being is bad. 

Being a creator of any kind, we constantly put ourselves out there. Our product has our fingerprint on it, whether we like it or not, whether it's "good or bad." It's awkward and scary, why else do we get nervous? We wonder if people will like it, or "get it," and that fear of rejection imposes inhibitions on our expression. Letting go of whether or not people will accept us or our art, and just going for being yourself regardless of that, is the key to freedom from that fear and the gateway to uninhibited expression. It's by no means easy to do, though. We all have years of social constructs, labeling, and defined characters to sift through in order to even get to even the surface of who we are. Then we have to figure out a way to channel that into and through our art, while still exploring and learning about parts of ourselves in the process. After all of that, hopefully we can reach the audience and entice them to do the same, at least in those moments of performance, or observing a painting, or watching a dance production, or viewing a movie or play. We have to create the avenues, the audience will choose the ones they walk on, but we all end up at the same place, meeting ourselves. 

Continual Concession

When I first began taking percussion lessons, I was blessed to be a part of the Percussion Scholarship Program. This group was unlike anything I had ever done or seen as a child, and I was excited to begin and to learn as much as I could. There was a price however, not with dollar signs, but with other things. I remember seeing, on the application, the question, "What are your favorite television shows?" And right after that read, "Which one are you willing to give up to practice?" I can't remember the shows that were on during that year, but I know that cartoons were a big deal to me. As I live out my life there is always a new concession, or choice, or even just a question of balance that pops up, and I know a lot of us have either gone through, or are going through that. Do I buy new jeans, or that pair of mallets I need for this one excerpt? Do I use this check for my gold head joint, or do I use my credit card? Do I save this money, or go to this audition? Do I eat lunch, or practice (always a question for me)? 

Unfortunately, some of the choices we face aren't so "trivial." I remember when I was, I think 12, I couldn't really hang out with my grandfather, who I had not seen in years, when he came to visit us, because I had to practice and go to my lessons. It was a choice that I made, but I also regarded my work as that important. Important enough to sacrifice something that I really wanted or cared about, in hopes of something better for my future. In hopes of something that would make all of the work worth it, like we all hope for. These days, the choices and concessions are harder (because "adult life"), but that doesn't make our goals, or the variables we choose from any less important or demeans them. We need to accept those choices and not regret them, even if they did not have to outcomes we wanted. I know most of us have experienced the guilt of not practicing, but honestly, we have to stop practicing at some point, and do other things. It doesn't make us any less of a musician or an artist, dare I say a person, if we take the time to handle some business. 

We give a lot of ourselves to this craft, and for the majority of us, giving so much with so little payback is really hard to stomach. I've found some of my peace with the enjoyment of the journey, enjoying the moments of when I break through a wall of technique, or playing a duet with a good friend. The success we want is completely valid, but if that's the only thing we wait for it in order to enjoy ourselves, it becomes harder and harder to do that. 

Combine that with the stress that can come from certain choices we have to make in life, and you have yourself a bad situation. It's easier to say no to something, knowing that your work will be good and productive, than if you feel like you'll never get anywhere if you practice. I think it's a matter of continual self reassurance, reminding yourself of both the progress you have made, and the sacrifices you made to make that progress. For most of us, the cost of continuing is worth paying, but each of us have a different price to pay. We all have to find the balance for ourselves, whether it's money management, time management, or anything else that pertains to you as a person and you as a musician. And with that balance, we have to not look to the outcomes for payback, but the process itself.

Any artist has pretty much signed up for a life of rejections, disappointments, long hours practicing, self doubt, and any other of the "artistic woes." But coupled with every negative are the joys of creating, of reaching people, of teaching, of learning, of connecting with others, of the challenge of a new piece, of figuring out new techniques, of talking to people about what you love, of doing what you love. The amount of joy we produce every time we pick up the instrument is totally worth the sacrifices we make in the end, otherwise I know I wouldn't still be here. 

Involuntary Inspiration

Ever since the Honda video I've had this topic on my mind. It's always been a goal of mine to become a source of inspiration for people, whether it's through musical performance, giving advice, or just telling my story. Something that did not occur to me at the time, was how inevitable that outcome would be. It didn't really matter if I wanted to be an inspiration or not; the culture I was born into, plus the career choice, decided that for me. Being an African American, there's always this sense of, "I have to make it," or "I have to succeed," and the appearance of someone who did "make it" is seen as a really big deal, and unfortunately, also seen as a rare occurrence. Because of this, successful African Americans are almost immediately put up on this pedestal for others to gaze at and aspire to reach. This in itself is not bad, because we all had some sort of aspiration and idol, whether it came in the form of a person or not, but the thought that this is a rare occurrence is the problem.

I received friend requests, questions, rants, conversations and gifts from many people who saw that video, and at first it was overwhelming. I wanted to help as many as I could, I still do, and having a platform to do so was extremely helpful to me, both to experience this phenomenon comfortably, and to have the ability to effectively reach these people. But those actions are solely for the benefit of others, an act of service with no intention of personal gain, just like the people who inspired and shared their time and knowledge with me. Every chance I get, I tell people about my inspirations, influences, and people who I think they would benefit from seeing or hearing, because I am very much aware that I did not get here on my own: Jojo Mayer, all of my teachers, Les Twins, Star Wars, Avatar the Last Airbender, the list goes on. Being humble enough to share the spotlight let's people know that, you aren't this rarity, but that others have had similar success and that it can be achieved at many levels by anyone who works at it. There's no way that I can be the next Jojo Mayer, but I know several kids who have that potential, and it's my duty as a teacher and mentor to help them achieve that level if I can. It's not rare. It can happen quite often in fact.

I constantly look for more inspiration in any successful person who passionately speaks about their career. I watch YouTube religiously, read articles and interviews, ask friends who they are inspired by, etc., searching for even the most obscure sources of inspiration. Most recently, I attended an alumni jam session at the Chicago High School for the Arts. All of the students in that school have immense talent and that in itself is always encouraging to me, but two students walked in after an hour or so: Joshua and Joel Ross. I actually went to elementary school with these two twin brothers, and to say that they are talented is really an understatement. Such unique skills and creativity with their instruments, so much so that I really could not compare them to anyone else. To see these brothers perform and to witness their accomplishments within a short period of time since graduating high school is really an inspiration to me.

The funny thing is, there is a point where you meet someone like that; you are an inspiration to them and they are an inspiration to you. This too should not be seen as rare either. We will achieve certain things that others will aspire to, and vice versa, but again, having the humility to share this space with others is the key to having this happen. Had I been more prideful, I might've inadvertently shut the brothers out, or some other version of that. Thankfully, Josh, Joel and I can still converse as we did when we were younger, all trying to "make it" in different areas of music, and working to expand our knowledge and abilities. It's people like them that I am most grateful for everyday of my life, and I hope that I can have a similar influence and effect on people I come in contact with. I encourage you to take note of your own accomplishments in life, and know that your story, big or small, can help someone looking for a glimmer of hope in the upcoming year and years to come.